


In The Shadow of Dispair

by Discorded_Reality



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Abuse, Angst, F/M, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, OOC, Pain, Redemption, Sex, Torture, Tragedy, extreme violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 07:16:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11122416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Discorded_Reality/pseuds/Discorded_Reality
Summary: Darth Maul is a man filled with pain, and regret.   He had lost far too much, had far too much stolen from him, had fallen so very very far.He finds a light in the darkness, from a very unexpected place.  A spitfire woman, a near broken Zabrakian.What could possibly happen?





	1. Stowaways

Amila was silently stalking through the halls of Maul's ship, her senses keen for any signs of Maul, or any of the ship's other inhabitants. She was just wishing she didn't have to be here, this place let out a weird vibe. Yet, she was still here.   
She remembered waking up to find her mentor discussing with another Jedi, and they had called her over. They needed someone to infiltrate and sabotage an enemy's ship. She didn't realize they meant Maul's ship, so she guessed it's her fault for not asking about the ship's owner.

Maul was in his personal quarters, where he had been meditating, his thoughts as always were filled with such rage and hatred he had to focus himself to even function normally, the force inside him was like a wild beast, always testing the limits of it's inner cage.   
He was pulled from his trance like state sensing something amiss. There was something different about the feeling in the atmosphere, something or some one was here.  
He stood slowly, unhurriedly and straightened his usual combat leathers, he wore, pure black with blood red embellishments on the belt and collar. He pulled his usual robe on, because he liked the thing, ironic he would be sentimental now of all times.

He opened his door to the main corridor and began to walk down the hallway to the bridge, realizing his idiot of a droid had left the bay door open for their refueling and resupply, he cursed the infernal thing and closed the hanger door. 

He was just sitting down in the cockpit when he sensed the strange disturbance again, it was coming from the direction of the cargo hold he stood and turned his attention towards the interior of the ship.

Amila sat down behind a box studying a map "I have to say..his ship is impressive, if he wasn't an enemy..I'd ask him how to improve my own ship." She mumbled studying the map harder "And fucking hell..this map is so damn confusing, I can't even find where I am right fucking now." She muttered angrily to herself, tempted to end the mission here and leave, avoiding the risk of getting killed by a certain red and black, horned, Sith Lord.  
The Zabrak smirked, there was definitely someone in the cargo hold, he could sense the disgusting taint of light... But it was not fully forged, still raw around the edges... Interesting...

He turned the corner to the hold and paused, whoever it was, they must have stowed away while that bucket of bolts was bringing the cargo in, he would have to scrap the worthless pile of junk during training.... Painfully. 

He stood in the doorway, and laughed. Cold sinister laughter echoed into the hold, it was laced with the force, twining dark tendrils into those who heard it, intended to weaken the resolve of even the mightiest of foes. His cowl was lowered displaying his fearsome visage, he tilted his head to the side his eyes flashing with semi madness.

"Show yourself stowaway. Or be dismembered... Painfully and scattered to every star system." He said in a strangely beautiful voice laced with poisonous sincerity.  
Amila stiffened when she heard someone coming. She quickly put the map away, she pulled out her lightsaber. She then ran behind more boxes just in time to avoid sight by Maul. She then growled quietly, chewing her lip hearing Maul. She turned her lightsaber on {I knew it! This is how I fucking die!} She thought quietly,she then quickly settled down "Over my dead fucking body, Maul. It's a little safer out of the open!" She called.  
Maul hissed with annoyance, hearing the hum of the plasma blade. "Very well, you shall suffer then, why do they never choose the simple path...." he walked into the chamber his fearsome visage eerily lit by the blue and red lights of the hold.

He snarled and swept his hand to the side, scattering boxes in an attempt to flush her out of hiding. His own light saber in hand, the plasma blade springing to life on one end. "That could be arranged." he laughed maniacally.  
"Because, us Jedi prefer not to get killed without a fight!" Amila growled before trying her best to stay hidden. Barrel rolling mainly behind small boxes, to the point where all the boxes were damaged, and she could clearly seen "Guess I have to fight then, might as well get my death over with, not like I wanted to live my life or anything." She snapped "You crazy lunatic." She added with a smirk.

"Where's the sport in that!" Maul laughed, baring his teeth in a horrifying parody of what was apparently a smile. "I take that as a compliment" he smirked with unbridled cruelty.

"Show me your skills little Jedi, try to kill me if you can." he laughed again, and sneered at her.  
Amila narrowed her eyes. Her mentor had been right, he was an annoying, and crazy Sith Lord "My mentor was right, you are a nutty person." She then ran forward and slashed her lightsaber at him quickly.  
Maul smirked, that mad smile again and brought his saber up at the ready, he spun his saber, and they clashed, parrying and slicing at each other their blades meeting with high pitched whines of energy. Maul licked his lips and used his dark power to force push her backwards suddenly putting her on the defensive.

"Who is the one you call Master little one?" He asked as he forced her backwards step by step.  
Amila curses quietly holding up her lightsaber in defense as she forced back "One, I'm twenty three, and second of all, why the hell would I tell you?"  
The Zabrakian male grinned like a predator as he replied "Because they will never see you again". He hissed with venom in his voice.

Suddenly using his force to wrap its tendrils around her throat slamming her against the wall, walking slowly towards her like a beast to a kill. He got close to her, his lips inches away from her face, his hot breath tickling her ear, his next words bone chilling and dripping with all manner of intent.

"You belong to me now little Jedi." he said as he snapped his teeth playfully near her throat. Watching her reaction for a moment waiting for her reply as she squirmed in his grasp.  
Amila tried her best to get hold of her knife on her belt, as she squirmed "Get the fuck away, from me." She snarled, she couldn't get the knife but she did manage to kick at him.  
"Oh I don't think so" he said, his voice had gone velvety soft. "You owe me for all this damage.." he said, an obvious excuse.

She landed another hard kick to his abdomen making him take a sharp breath, the pain fleeting but there, if she had kicked a handful of inches lower it would have been a different story altogether, he thought grimly. 

"You are mine woman..." he purred before squeezing tighter making her world dim into unconsciousness as she struggled. Against his powerful body and will. He unceremoniously carried her to the cells where he kept prisoners just across from the sleeping quarters, depositing her onto one of the bunks inside locking the door behind him, and disappearing into the ship.

It had been an interesting day.


	2. Prisoners in their own skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things heat up *cough*  
> This chapter is rated M 18 +

Amila managed to say her three favorite words, "Go fuck yourself," before completely going unconscious.  
The Zabrakian male went into his quarters, his adrenaline was coursing through him, flooding his system with endorphins that threatened to render him undone. That woman infuriated him in ways he couldn't fathom. 

His leathers Suddenly felt uncomfortably tight, and if he could blush he would have been as his body felt hotter than normal, his breathing had gone ragged as every shift of his trousers made him reel with arousal, and pleasure.

He stripped his clothes off, leaving the door open on purpose the cell door adjacent to the open room, he wanted to watch this woman while he lost himself, she fascinated him, and as she had told him to "go fuck himself" he would do just that, he thought with a smirk.

He slid off his tunic exposing toned muscles rippling under Crimson skin, covered with intersecting tribal Sith tattoos that curved their way around and down his body like the fingertips of a dark lovers caress. He snaked his hands down his torso as he watched her still form, hooking his thumbs into his belt, tugging the pants down along with his loincloth, allowing his impressive length to spring free With a grunt.

It was mostly red, with arrowhead markings of black along the shaft and a matching snake tongue design on the head mirroring his own lips, he was completely devoid of hair all along his body by nature, the dusky markings trailed until they met the base of his cock, Solid black ink stained his skin, from his balls and up his backside, ending at the small of his back.

He reached down and teased himself, running the tips of his claws along the shaft, growling as he sat on the bed legs spread as he moaned loudly, almost hoping the female would stir and wake. He wanted to make her regret ever setting foot on this ship, and twist her mind. 

He hissed as he stroked himself, teeth gritting with pleasure, working his strong hands along the shaft. His battle hardened body shuddering with pleasure. He reached down with his free hand and played with his balls, teasing them and gently squeezing and tugging as he picked up the pace with his strokes, pausing to run his thumb over the sensitive head making him moan seductively.

He was purposefully louder than was strictly necessary. He continued this until he couldn't bear it anymore, his body tight with the strain as he neared the edge of oblivion, his back finally arched and he cried out loudly cumming hard, the white hot seed spilling onto the floor as he collapsed on the bed on his back, panting hard.  
Unbeknownst to Maul, Amila had woken up when he had first started. She had her face in her hands, blushing madly "I regret my choice of words.." she sighed.  
Maul looked in her direction his golden eyes heavy with lust as he unashamedly displayed his body to her, still panting, as he rolled over, cleaning up his "mess" he stood on still wobbly legs walking still completely nude to the prison door.

"Do you like what you see?' he smirked waiting for her reply.

"Be careful what you ask for". he purred between breaths teasing her about what she had told him to “do”, slowly turning and beginning to walk towards his quarters.  
{Just calm down..} Amila thought as she looked Maul up and down. Her blush extremely dark "What would you do if I said yes?" She called  
The Zabrakian male gave pause for a moment, she could feel his smirk from the cell.

"Oh you will see.... You will see..." He purred.  
Amila shivered at the thought but soon calmed down, and shrugged "To be truly honest, I've seen better, you probably don't even know how to fuck an actual girl." She said with a smirk "Though, if you don't..well I won't be surprised at all." She added  
The red and black skinned male hissed with displeasure and annoyance. His hands clenched until his taloned nails dug furrows into his skin, drops of blood dripping slowly onto the floor.   
He trembled with an unknown emotion, before turning to her his eyes like twin pools of molten gold, burning with anger and something else?

"Watch yourself woman... " he snarled, his voice harsh with sibilant fury. "I WILL break you, and that insolent tongue of yours". he growled, viciously. 

"Test my patience again and I shall destroy you." he growled.

Amila snorted in amusement "I'm sorry. Did I hurt the Sith Lord's feelings?" She then cackled "Oh? Really? How would you do that, Mr. Maul?" She asked standing and walking to the cell door. Eyeing him, almost into his soul and mind, waiting for the Sith Lord's reply.  
He responded with action rather than words, lightning seemed to crackle around his body for a split second and then the cell door was ripped from its hinges and he was on her. His body crushing hers to the wall of the cell, his taloned hands still covered in blood, wrapped round her neck squeezing just tight enough to hold her stationary as he tore her clothes to ribbons with his free hand, smearing her pale body with blood, he leaned in close, right next to her ear. 

"Is this what you wanted? You brought this on yourself woman... " He hisses as he bites down on her neck not all too gently licking her up to her chin, his burning eyes looking into hers challenging her to be insolent again.  
Amila yelped for a moment but soon grunted after being forced onto a wall "Maybe.." She quietly purred. She then glanced down at what use to be her clothes "You owe me new clothes, Maul." She growled.  
He laughed mischievously "Woman... Clothing is the least of your problems" he purred.

Maul leaned back studying her pale body, from the curve of her voluptuous breasts down to gentle plane of her toned abdomen, his golden eyes traveling between her beautiful legs to her luscious womanhood, he couldn't help but let a groan escape his lips, as he pressed his now achingly hard erection against her belly.

He looked into her defiant eyes, his own yellow meeting her gunmetal grey, as he leaned forward and kissed her savagely, biting her lower lip as he claimed her mouth for his own. He tightened his grip on her throat ever so slightly as if warning her to not bite him, he slid his tongue inside tasting her, twining his tongue with hers. His skin was hot against her, much hotter than her own, and it made her feel like she was playing with fire.

"You pervert, stop staring.." Amila muttered, resisting the urge to push him off and cover herself up. Though, she soon kissed back with a small moan. She really wanted to pull Maul closer but her arms were squished between the Sith Lord in front of her, and the wall. She still managed somehow, to free her arms before pulling Maul's head closer, soon beginning to quietly moan.  
The Zabrak let out a chuckle at her half heartedly indignant protest. {my how the tables have turned} he thought with an inner laugh. He felt her squirming and he allowed it, as long as she didn't try to escape.   
He relaxed slightly as her hands embraced him pulling him to her rather than and pushing him away, an action that frankly shocked him slightly, but he didn’t dwell on it. Her fingertips brushed against his horns making him shiver, as they rested on the back of his head pulling him deeper into the kiss, and he groaned deeply.

He opened his eyes and gave her a look as if to say, {You have one chance don't fuck it up} as he released his hold on her neck sliding his claw tips along her throat, shoulder, and belly, teasingly down to her legs, his other hand doing the same, as he gripped her legs lifting her up and wrapping them around his waist, he shifted his hands to support her hips as he picked her up carrying her through the hall to the bedroom.


	3. With need comes possession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure smutty indulgence, with some serious soul rending conversation peppering the chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

He cleared the top of his desk with his will alone scattering the project he was working on all over the floor as he sat her down on the surface, leaving her lips for a moment as he kissed his way down her neck, nibbling and biting gently until he captured a pale nipple in his mouth, licking and gently teasing the sensitive nub, as he trailed his fingertips of his left hand around her right nipple sensually, gently caressing.  
Amila took a light intake of breath, being able to breathe easy again. She then continued to hold his head, shifting some "I find it amusing how you think I'm going to make a run for it." She replied, but she soon started to moan, digging her nails into his head, making him growl softly, enjoying the pleasurable pain.

He smirked at her, breaking his lips away from her pale skin in response to what she had said in the cell. "Fear is a powerful motivator, most would be afraid of being taken by the dark side... Or in your case... *he gently leaned down and bit her thigh* Consumed by it"  
Amila snorted quietly, lightly rubbing her aching nipple "I'm not scared, my father was apart of the Darkside before he died. So..I don't care what you do at all." She replied.

Maul paused, looking up at her for a moment, really looking, as if into her soul, and his eyes took on a haunted look for a moment as if remembering something terrible. He shook his head and cleared the ghosts from his mind.

 

"I know... What that is like.. But in a different way..." he said as the shadow passed from within him, he refocused his mind on her body, and spoke in a whisper. "You would be the first to not be tainted with fear of me, but that will probably not last as you realize what I truly am..." he broke eye contact and kissed his way down to her thigh, teasing his way up her leg, planting his Crimson and ebony stained lips on her beautiful folds, tenderly licking with such gentleness that no one would have suspected he possessed. He teased her delicate pussy, and gently sucked on, and licked her sensitive clit as he assaulted her senses.  
"How? And I assumed." Amila mumbled, before shivering from the kisses on her leg, and soon moaning from the kisses on her pussy "Fuck.." She then managed to find her breath in between moans "I have..to be..honest..I'm a virgin.." She said slightly ashamed.  
Maul paused ever so slightly letting her catch her breath, sincerely enjoying the way he was making her feel and react. He kissed his way up her thigh again and trailed kisses up to her neck, his hand slid down to replace where his lips had been, very gently to avoid hurting her with his claws, he rubbed her as he spoke, alternating speech for kisses on her heated skin of her neck.

"I was sold to my master at the age of 5.... He became my *Father* and tortured me every time I *failed* him, pain, and misery, and an emotionless void are all I have ever known... Also the feeling of being... Used. I am nothing but a tool." He said without any trace of emotion, save for the briefest of flashes in his eyes, hatred, pain, revenge. Those were his mistresses.

He looked up at her, as she told him of her verginity, and he genuinely looked like he had been slapped in a way, having already corrupted her innocence so much there was no turning back now, she would become like him now.

"Despite my brutality.... I will try to be ...gentle..." He managed, his hearts conflicted.

Amila softly moaned before she went dead silent, she sniffled at the thought then lightly took his face in her palms, and comfortingly kissed him, before quietly nodding.  
Maul's eyes widened slightly with shock, not expecting sympathy or kindness from anyone, let alone this woman he had captured and taken prisoner. He allowed her to guide him to her lips and slowly closed his eyes into the kiss, allowing himself if only for a moment, to "feel".

He gently picked her up and lay her on the bed in the center, on the train of thinking that this would be a far more relaxing way to experience the intimacies of sex for the first time. He stood there a moment, just looking at her beautiful body, so starkly contrasted to his Crimson and black stained skin. She looked so pure. He knelt on the bed beside her trailing his fingertips along her legs, up her creamy thighs, along her abdomen and her perfect breasts, up to her chin, once there he gently caressed her cheek with the back of his fingertips, so tenderly for one with such fierce reputation and appearance. He slowly trailed his black skinned palm along her check up to stroke her beautiful brunette locks, as he carefully straddled her.  
Amila pulled away a little, looking deep into his amber eyes "Everyone, no matter who, deserves sympathy." She then just simply let him carry her to bed, she lightly spread out her legs and growled "Not the hair." She snapped, and he withdrew his hand abruptly as if struck. He swallowed and thought about what she had said, flexing his fingers slowly.  
"Even Monsters?" he asked looking deep into her eyes, his glittering depths full of so many ghosts, so much pain, as he spoke with utmost sincerity.

Not waiting for her answer, he seductively put his fingertips in his mouth making them slick with his own saliva, he positioned himself carefully reaching down with his left hand he coated the head of his cock, his eyes closing momentarily at the pleasure, before teasing the tip on the outside of her beautiful entrance..

"Are you ready?" he asked in a voice choked with need.  
"Yes, even monsters." Amila finally replied with a smile, she then shifted a bit until she got comfortable, with a bite of her lip, she nodded "Just remember..be gentle.."  
With that, he looked at her with genuine care, in whatever way he was able to express, which was not well, as was clearly evident by his expression. He nodded slowly, before replying.

"I will be... Please tell me..if.. I hurt you.." he said gently, so uncharacteristically from what she knew of his reputation.

He slowly slid inside her then, trying his best to be gentle despite his "size" pausing every now and then to allow her to stretch, finally he was fully sheathed inside her. She was so tight and hot, it threatened to drive him into madness. He moaned loudly, his claws digging into the bed sheets effectively tearing them to ribbons, his head tilting back and eyes sliding closed.  
"I will.." Amila quietly said but soon winced involuntarily, she chewed her lip to point where it drew blood, she at least appreciated him trying. After a bit the pain eased a little, not knowing what to do, she quietly moved against him "I'm okay.." She promised "Just fuck me already."  
He had been watching her expression as he entered her, trying to read her every reaction. He leaned down and gently licked her lip where it bled, savoring in the metallic tang of her blood, as he kissed her, and then parted the kiss. "I'm..sorry.." he whispered.   
At her command he began to slowly move, thrusting in and out at an agonizingly slow, pace, he bit his own lip. He hissed through his teeth, his back arching slightly as he moved, the pleasure extremely intense, as he felt her tight heat all around his aching cock.

He leaned down and kissed her neck, licking softly, his hot breath ghosting over her as he began to pick up speed, hitting a spot deep within her that got a satisfying reaction from Maul, as he watched her face contort with pleasure.  
Amila let out quiet moans, but they soon got louder, the pain completely gone at this point. She started to lightly move in sync with him, increasing the amount of moans that she let out "My god Maul.." She breathed out.

He let out a ragged breath, the mask he normally wore to hide his emotions gone, he was completely open, finally free from his demons if only for this moment, he let himself go.

He slid himself out nearly completely, before slamming back into her deeply, hitting her in that spot again, and again, his breath hitched in his throat as he went, his groans hot a heady, and his amber eyes clouded with lust and arousal.

"You're so...f...fucking tight... Nghnnnn... Amila.... Ahh.. Ahhh... " he moaned loudly, picking up the pace again, he slammed into her, watching her breasts bounce, as his balls slapped against her ass. He was nearly beyond his limits but he kept going.  
He desperately wanted to make her climax before him, if nothing else Maul was a generous lover.  
Amila let out squeals of pleasure as he did so, soon grabbing Maul's head and pulling him into a kiss, hooking her fingers around several of his horns, sending pleasure through him tenfold as she touched the bases of them "Fuck..just like that..but harder..." She moaned against the kiss  
He groaned deeply again as he kissed her hard, her squeals and cries of ecstasy spurring him onwards, he did as she wished, and pushed even harder as he slammed his aching cock home with each thrust. Each time was like an explosion for him, the sensations dancing along his body like electricity. He snarled with feral need and used his immense strength to pound her relentlessly, slamming the headboard of the bed into the wall of the ship as he fucked her, his body trembling with the strain of not loosing himself, he refused to cum before she did.

He might be a selfish bastard but never like this. Not this time.  
"Fucking hell... Amila.... Oh Gods.... " he growled out like a beast.  
Amila moaned out loudly as she soon came hard, shuddering around him, she dug her nails into the sheets "My fucking lord..Maul.."  
Her moans and the way her body writhed beneath him made him crazy, She suddenly moaned louder than before and her body arched up into his as he cried out in pleasure as he felt the waves of her orgasm wash over him, clenching down hard on his cock like a vice. The fluttering around him rendered maul undone completely, his sanity unraveled, his mind gone, his name on her lips was the final nail in his proverbial coffin, and he came HARD. 

His back arched and he practically roared he groaned so loudly, it was such a primal sound.

"A...Amila.... I.. I.. Oh fuck fuck ahhhhhh....!" He cried out as his body shuddered and his white hot seed filled her, he panted hard, ripping the bedding to shreds as he cracked the wall with his final thrust. Finally bone numbingly spent, his body trembling, he withdrew from her and collapsed next to her, trying to catch his ragged breath.

"So..... “ he panted between words. “ do I know” gasp “how to fuck?" He teased from the comment that started it all back in the prison cell.  
Amila let out a quiet hum at the feeling of being filled by him, she then snuggled close "I don't know, why don't you tell me?" She asked with a smirk.  
"I... Would say so." he laughed as he pulled her close. He certainly never expected this day to go like this, whatever *this* was, it was sure to be interesting... Very interesting indeed.

 

"I'm in big trouble if anyone finds out, so is your reputation, Mr. Horns." Amila replied softly, lightly taking in his woody, sorta smell. "But, about what you said before, I feel like I should give enlightenment about myself now, just so it's fair."  
*he pondered a moment*. "Yes I suppose it would be… Inconvenient, although if anyone found out I could just kill them.... " he mused, totally serious, smirking at the "MR.Horns" pet name.

He turned to face her, listening to her beautiful voice, like a fallen angel speaking to a demon. He mused.  
Amila chuckled shaking her head in wonder "Yeah..I guess.." She them took a sharp breath before she began "My parents wanted a normal child, they expected a boy..but..I came instead, people teased me with names, and said I was a disgrace. On top of all of that, the Empire executed my older brother and mother." She said tears brimming her eyes "I was only six, that's when my dad started to drink..he would abuse me to the point where I would have scars." She pulled up her hair slowly, showing multiple scars on her neck and cheek, then gesturing to a few on her belly "Yet, at first when my Dad died..I was happy, but I still loved him..that's when the Empire attacked my home, they killed my uncle.   
So I took his ship and left with a few friends..they were killed because of me. That's when I met my future best friend and Jedi, Sulli, and my future mentor. He trained me like , both a padawan and a daughter, until this point."  
"Now I'll never see them again.." Amila then started to sob.  
Maul lay there watching her as she told her tale, of heartbreak and sorrow some of which mirrored his own in some aspects, others he couldn't imagine. 

His jaw set in a firm line and his eyes slid almost fully closed as he looked down with anguish, the cost was high for their little escapade into temptation, and he had to ask himself if he was worth it. He didn’t think he was.

He pulled her close to him and just held her to his strong body, trying his best though vastly inexperienced with the concept of "comforting" another creature.

"I... Am am so sorry... I... I wish I could have bee there to stop the Empire, to help you have a normal childhood... But.. People like us.. We don't get normal..." his voice trailed off into one choked in despair, one of the few emotions he was all too familiar with.

"On my planet, Dathomir, males are seen as scum to be treated like breeding stock, the planet is ruled by females. When it is time to take a "mate" they come and challenge us to combat taking the strongest to breed with like cattle.   
In my case being of strong "stock" I was sold to Darth Sidious at the age of 5." he took in a deep shuddering breath.

"I was born red skinned, my Mother gave me my first tattoos before I was 1 years old as is our custom, and my Master... Did all the rest... Very.. Painfully. I have been broken and reformed so many times I can't even recall what pain feels like anymore."

He sighed.

"At least we can be broken together"  
"Thank you for telling me your story.." he tried to wipe away her tears.  
Amila hugged him close like a teddy bear, now sniffling as she listened "That's horrible...why would they do that?" She asked "I guess we can though..but trying to get off the topic, do your tattoos have any meaning?"  
He allowed himself to be hugged back, enjoying the feeling of being close to someone. "Because I deserved it, I failed my Master so he punished me, I had to be perfect for Master, failure meant more pain, more electrocution....more drowning, more starving, more being locked in a cage… He drifted off his eyes seemed to glaze over as he entered a memory momentarily. Shaking his head he recovered.... I am a tool. I am a living weapon, I am to be used, to be wielded...." It was evident that Maul was far far beyond broken inside.

"My tattoos are partly tradition, of my race, the ones on my face are at least, the rest are Sith tattoo's earned as a rite of passage for being apprenticed as Sith, done by my Master. He administered every tattoo below my neck...." He trailed off shifting his legs uncomfortably as if ashamed.  
"Well they look nice, but it's still horrible that he did this to you Maul." Amila replied, soon letting go of him, she sat up "Now! You still owe me a fresh pair of clothes."  
"Thank you... They have grown on me and the memories they dredge up have long since faded.... I now embrace them and draw strength from them, remind me of my hatred... hatred makes me strong. " 

He was snapped from his reveries thankfully, no longer reminiscing those terrible times, the void that was his childhood, or lack there of, he smiled sadly, before speaking.

"The shower is on the left here in the room behind that door, he gestured to the left of the room. I will bring you some leathers, I will try.. To find something other than black." He sat up and walked to the corner of the room, un latching a hidden compartment grabbing some leathers, in a dusky grey, placing them on the counter in the bathroom, as he stepped into the adjacent shower to clean the sweat and other substances from his body.


	4. Heart Rent Asunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which certain Jedi are killed brutally, and souls are laid bare.
> 
> Maul and Amila begin to forge a bond.
> 
> Pasts are discussed and Dispair is revealed.
> 
> Heavy Hurt/comfort themes.

Amila took the leathers, she put them on before she kinda just sat on the bed for a bit until someone busted in, her eyes widened seeing her mentor, he clasped a hand over her mouth after she had screamed, he then dragged her away, claiming he was rescuing her. She glared at her lightsaber on his belt.

Maul had just gotten out of the shower in a state of semi undress when he sensed the commotion outside, and heard her scream, it cut through him to the core. He burst out of the room, clad in his leather pants his eyes smoldering like hot embers as he took off after the Jedi. He didn't know what he was doing but he had to keep this woman in his life, but he didn't know if it was right to take her from her path.... He was struggling. He snagged his light saber from the table and bolted out of the ship, to face the infiltrator head on.

"Stand and fight Jedi scum!" He roared in challenge.  
"Just let us have my friend, and it'll be alright! Then Anakin won't have to come out here!" A girl said stepping out, scowling with her lightsaber on "Wouldn't want the Anakin out here!"

"Fuck... " he swore loudly, they had backup, and he had... Nothing again, thoughts flashing to Savage. He had tasted something more than nothingness once... and lost it painfully, he refused to give it up now.... He was done with the empty void that consumed him every moment of every day of his miserable life.

"I will fucking kill you, you piece of shit" he snarled fiercely his double bladed lightsaber humming as it sprang to life, spinning it around his body in a practiced arc, arm out in a readied battle stance.  
"Well then.." The girl bolted off after the older Jedi screaming her head off. Though, a cry of pain came out of nowhere as Amila bit her mentor's hand and escaped. She grabbed her lightsaber before running to Maul "You can kill them."  
Maul the best, Maul the predator, Maul the Hunter, Maul the Monster grinned at her. She had never seen the look that was in his eyes, the beastial primal look that curdled the blood and made the hair stand on the back of your neck, she gave an involuntary shudder.

He reached out with the force, grabbing the female by her leg with invisible hands, ripping her into the air and slamming her to the ground, his saber dragged along next to him tearing great rends in the space dock floor, he waited for her to get up, savoring her terror, loving every second he could feel her heart racing and her blood chilling as the predator advanced.

“You fucked with the wrong Sith today”  
He laughed his head tilted to the side as the madness took hold of him, cold, sinister, laughter. "Get up weakling and face your doom... I want to feel the life go out of your body as you die...To watch the light fade…" He hissed with such brutality it stopped her breath.

The younger Jedi called out the name, “Sulli!”, as he ran back and knocked Maul away with the force.

Amila simply watched smirking as she sat on a box, eyes gleaming in approval.  
The Zabrak laughed sadistically, this Sulli tried to take what was his, tried to take his prize, his woman. The one who made him feel. Sulli would die… He would die in ways that Maul could only smile with glee about.

Maul was completely unfazed as he was sent sliding backwards with the force of Sulli’s push, causing Maul to hiss with excitement, a worthy opponent! He was giddy with anticipation as he dove at this Sulli, this “Master”.

The Sith launched himself into the air in a summersault landing behind the Jedi, he responded as expected, and rolled to the side bringing his blue saber up defensively as red met blue in a violent clash of plasma, their blades screaming in protest as they tested each other's resolve.   
He kicked out and unbalanced the Jedi scum for a moment, slicing upwards with his Crimson blade, narrowly missing the Jedi’s face, as he dodged to the side. Maul danced after him, his footwork precise and practiced, as he stabbed and parried attack after attack.  
He could feel the female coming up behind him intent on stabbing him in the back, he used the force to brutally break her sword arm, leaving her screaming in agony on the floor, clutching her useless arm. The Master cried out in sorrow and fear for his protégé but had no time to contemplate her fate as Maul force pushed him brutally into a wall.

He recovered and staggered forward from the rubble of the impact and tried to match wills with the Sith Lord, only to have his sword knocked from his grasp. Maul smiled and lunged forwards impaling the man with his horns, pulling away with blood running down his face, dripping in red rivulets from their tips.  
The master dropped to his knees in agony clutching his ruined abdomen as Maul laughed. The Zabrakian took the opportunity to cut off the mans sword arm, so he couldn't retaliate. Screams of agony filled the air as her clutched at the cauterized stump that was his limb.

“How does it feel to know that I have taken your apprentice from you and turned her to the dark side? She is mine now, as well as my woman.” He laughed savagely in the man’s horrified face, as he looked towards Amila with undiluted revulsion and terror. “how could you…. Defile the order with this…. “ he gritted his teeth against the pain “this creature?!” He spat out. 

Maul cut his legs off in that moment, leaving him to scream at his ruined body. Turning his attention to the screaming padawan on the ground. Sulli paled, and began to plead, to beg “No…. Not her please….. Spare her… Oh God please….” The master pleaded, as Maul ran his blade through her heart, as she looked at him with terror, her body shuddered and twitched and was still. He then cleanly severed her head tossing it at the horrified man. “Catch!” Maul laughed knowing full well Suli couldn’t, not anymore.

“Now die like the fucking dog you are” Maul hissed as he walked forward to the screaming, ruined, broken man, and ran him through ending the screams by stabbing him through the eye.

Maul stood and screamed his challenge to the fucking world, turning his attention to his prize, the woman who had saved him from a lifetime of misery.

“We should make ourselves scarce… They will discover these bodies soon enough.”   
Amila was grinning on her box "That was incredible, Maul. You gotta teach me how to do that!" She yelled jumping down, walking over to her small ship that had landed next to his Sith Infiltrator.   
"It's good to see my ship again, I wonder if my droid ER2 is still here!" She said gleefully as she walked in, just ignoring the bloody mess but soon stopped with a choked gasp, she glanced back to see the one man they had forgotten about. The wretched Anakin Skywalker, he yanked his lightsaber out, gritting his teeth, he then disappeared out the ship and away in an escape pod, realizing he did not have the advantage this day.  
Maul smiled at her, enjoying the appreciation for his skills, if nothing else, besides sex, Maul was a magnificent killing machine.  
"Of course I will teach you, how to turn every part of your body into a weapon," he said touching one of his horns pointedly, noting they were still coated in Jedi blood and gore, he made a “tisking” sound of annoyance.

He followed her to the hanger where her ship was. He was amused by her, excitement that was suddenly cut short as she saw the one man she had hoped to avoid.  
The Jedi saw he was outmatched and ran like the sniveling irritating dog he was off to his Master Kenobi no doubt.

"Fucking hell... Skywalker.... They will be on us like flies on fresh bantha shit now." He sighed, watching the pod dissaoear into the distance. "we should really get out of here now... I can likely tow your ship with mine unless you want to fly alongside me, I do have my ship modded with cloaking technology though."  
Amila leaned against the wall for a moment. Taking a deep breath, holding her wound. She then turned her head to Maul with narrowed eyes "I'm taking my ship with me."  
"If your looking to turn some coin on the black market grab those lightsabers" he said.  
Amila just then shook her head "No, I'll keep them as souvenirs."  
He raised his hands defensively as she snapped at him, "I wouldn't dream of leaving it behind after what you told me about it, I was merely suggesting you hook it up to mine and I can set up an airlock between them"

He liked the fire in this woman, she called him on his shit, and centered him, wasn’t afraid of him.  
"Good, cause I'd murder you if ya did." Amila growled.  
He chuckled. "You really think you could?" He teased avoiding her kick in his general direction at the comment.

He suddenly realized she was injured, and turned to her. "what hit you? Where are you hurt?" He asked with concern.  
Amila snorted "Now you care..that asshole stabbed me with his lightsaber." She said before going into a compartment and pulled out a first aid kit.  
Appalled that he hadn't seen it happen, or notice sooner, he clenched his fists in anger, at himself. "please show me?" He said softly.  
She walked into her ship, and started to rummage through the compartments.  
"I'm fine, I can handle myself." *Amila growled more fiercely than was intended, opening the first aid kit as she pulled out a few things.  
He withdrew instantly as if struck, slipping easily back to what he was used to feeling. "I will be changing my clothing and cleaning myself after my fight, call me on the complink if you need me."

He said in an emotionless voice, turning on his heel he strode off to the bathroom to change.  
"I'll be in here." Amila called as she worked on her wound wincing.  
Maul slipped out of his clothing, and stepped into the hot water of the refresher, as he began scrubbing the gore from his body, turning the water that ran off of him red. Finally cleansed from the Jedi filth he stepped out to dry off, as usual getting his horns tangled in the confounded towel. He sighed as he ripped it away in tatters, he lost so many nice things that way.

He pulled out another set of leathers and was slipping them on, as he thought about all that had transpired. Who would have ever thought such a thing could happen. The murder sure, that was normal, but the rest? Un fathomable.

He walked in silence to the mess grabbing a bottle of mandalorian death watch label spirits, his own blend, he had invented during the time.. Before.... and two glasses, he poured himself a tall drink and walked to the place he had left Amila, setting the two items down on an available surface. Observing her silently.  
Amila was quietly working on a droid that was making whir sounds every so often as it tried to to work "Come om ER2." She muttered before glancing at him "Pour me a drink, will ya?"  
He obliged pouring the strong alcohol into a glass and passing it to her, taking a long drink from his own, feeling the liquid burn as it went down.

"I didn't know you did your own repairs and mods. What have you done to your ship and droid's so far? I modded my ship out heavily, it's my ...hobby, same with my speeder bike." He tried to strike up idle chatter... What was he doing confound it... Why was her approval so important?   
"Only basic things. Now my brother was amazing at fixing things." Amila then took a sip of her drink "Haven't had good alcohol in a while."  
"I can teach you more complex fixes and modifications if you like, we can build you a speeder bike of your own, you choose the mods" He offered, taking another sip of the potent drink, as he leaned against the wall nearby.

"I'm mostly self taught... Lots of spare time between missions and well... Nothing else to distract me." He shrugged, or no one else, he thought miserably.  
The Zabrak shifted slightly as he was standing, trying to find the right words. "I'm sorry that your Brother couldn't be the one to continue teaching you, instead of me". He said in a tone laced with sorrow, that word always cut him deeply.  
"No thanks. Besides, I have my own in the ship's small cargo hold." Amila responded, she then took another ship of her drink "Like me." She quietly laughed but then froze at his words, frowning "It's not your fault..it wasn't you who did it."  
He sighed, remembering the loss of the family he had never known, the fleeting snippets of distant memory. 

"I just know what it's like to loose everything."

He passed her a journal entry that resided in an ancient leather bound book.

"I had a Brother once too..."  
There was one entry inside with a photo of a yellow skinned Zabrakian male, with similar facial tattoos to Mauls own, but he looked much bigger, and his horns were very long, he had a cheesy grin on his face holding a rather annoyed looking maul in a headlock.  
The one entry read:

Pain.  
All he knew was pain.  
It was the last emotion he still could claim as his own, as he spiraled down into the pit, the void. Into the discarded remains of dead starships and broken dreams. 

Existence.  
All there was was the next sunrise, the next scrap of food, the next deal to make, the next life to take. All there was left was the last strands of his mind, grasping at the last strands of reality.

Agony.  
He suffered alone, always alone, there was no one. He was always forgotten, discarded, a memory of failure on someone's lips. 

Torment.  
His body ruined, shattered, his mind ravaged by despair, beyond broken. His mind shattered like bleached bones upon a distant shore of a long forgotten planet.

Delirium.  
Someone reaches out to him, someone dares to try. To rip him from this agony, steal his misery away. Lies. Always lies, illusion, delirious manifestations of his broken mind, he was cracked like glass.

Salvation.  
His mind reformed, reforged, his battered psyche pieced back together. His shattered hearts returned to the once empty cavity that emptied him out. Brother. 

Hope.  
The feeling of love, completion, the strong arms of his brother holding him up, restoring his faith in himself. Mending the scars of his tattered existence, one ripped seam at a time, each stitch threatening to destroy him, to obliterate his conceptions of reality.

Oblivion.  
Death. Destruction. Revenge. His hearts ripped from his chest violently, his life blood dripping down his body like rivulets of Crimson night, two niches in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly.  
Everything is gone. His life is in ruin, his brother lies shattered before him, like a broken bird, never to fly again. 

Apocalypse.  
It's over. His world is over, there is nothing left of him now, hollowed out like a bone without marrow, broken and dripping on the floor. His life had eclipsed, everything worth living for dismembered around him.   
He returned to the broken hunter, donned the visage of the tormented one he wore so well, stripped his soul bare once again devoid of emotions to choke him again. To erase the pain.  
He looked down at the remains of dead starships and broken dreams.

Always,Alone.  
But he would never forget.

Amila sat there, eyeing the page, her hands shaky after she had read it "Maul..I'm so sorry about him.." She then turned away from the droid. She put her drink down, before pulling him into a hug.  
Maul swallowed thickly, trying to hold back the emotions threatening to choke him, to break the floodgates, and crush him under the weight of his loss.

“It.. Was my fault…” He choked on his words, “he died because of me… Of my greed, my desire for power…”  
"He...he was the only person who ever loved me..." He squeezed his eyes shut in a grimace of pure anguish as if a wound had been ripped open. Pain was all he knew. It was familiar. It was easy.

His body stiffened momentarily at the sudden hug, the physical contact, the act of comfort still so completely alien to him after slamming his emotions away in that cage. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his head into her neck and took in a shuddering breath.  
Amila just held him close "You can't hold in all your emotions, they'll eventually lead you to your downfall. I know, because it almost got me killed."

"Emotion is weakness, emotion leads to punishment, emotion leads to torture, I am a weapon, a tool to be used." he repeated as if in a trance, clinging to her like a lifeline.

"Must not fail..." He snapped back to reality, hearing her words, cut through the void that was his mind like a hot knife.

"I...want to know what it's like to feel.... But I'm... Afraid..." His amber eyes looked haunted as he looked at her.  
"Maul, your alright." Amila replied "And I'll help you, just don't be afraid and let me. No one will hurt you for having emotions when I'm around." She whispered.

He looked at her then and he suddenly looked to fragile, so tired, so tired of fighting, clawing back at everything and everyone, trying to protect himself from pain. The Sith were so incredibly misunderstood, especially special cases like his.

He let his other self slip through the cracks and he took a shuddering breath, deeply inhaling her scent, it smelled of mechanical things, and her own sweet scent mixed with something he couldn't name, a look of anguish on his face, as he pulled her tightly to his chest.

"I..am so conflicted...I ... “ He broke off swallowing thickly before continuing. “ I... Will try... " He barely whispered.  
Amila held him close before slowly pulling him down as she sat on the ground. She bit her lip before kissing his head, she sighed before letting him pull her close "I know, Maul, but thanks for letting me help you."  
"I will never let you go... Let anyone hurt you... Or take you from me... I couldn't breathe if I lost someone else.." 

He said in a voice so overwhelmingly choked with emotion it almost came out like a sob. Her tender kiss on his head making him gently close his eyes, as he slowly lay down on the floor resting his head with extreme care as to not stab her with his horns on her lap, just looking up at her with half lidded amber eyes.

"Nothing will happen to me. I promise." Amila whispered, she stroked his head lightly as she closed her eyes with a yawn "Well, I'm gonna take a nap, alright?"  
His eyes slid closed at the caress, making a soft noise of contentment, his body jolted slightly, as she touched one of his horns, making him open one eye to look up at her when she spoke.

"I will destroy the order before they get their filthy hands on you." He swore with venom in his voice. Slowly getting up off the floor as she mentioned bed, suddenly feeling the weight of all that had transpired tugging at him, so tired, so very tired.


End file.
